#NoMakeup #WhoGivesAShit

Recently in the news the No Makeup Campaign has gained footing with Alicia Keys stepping forward to proclaim loudly to the world that she's going to stop wearing makeup.

#sobrave

I started wearing makeup shortly after my thirteenth birthday after years of watching my mom put on her makeup daily. Whether she was staying home all day or going out she'd always put on her "fake face," as she called it. I'm not sure if she felt pressure to appear put together or if it made her feel more put together but I cannot recall many days where she didn't have at least a little makeup on.

"Everyone needs a little makeup," she says. However, she never made me feel like I needed it. 

I guess that's the attitude I always grew up with- it just seemed like fun to wear makeup and experiment with it and I liked the way my face or eyelashes popped while wearing makeup. Wearing makeup always made me feel more put together and ready to face the day. I never felt pressure from the patriarchy or anyone else to wear makeup. Perhaps that's why it's difficult for me to get onboard with the #NoMakeup Campaign. I don't understand why it's such an important movement because from where I stand, no one really cares if someone wears makeup or not. I've never witnessed another person criticizing someone in real life for having a bare face.

Is it men pressuring women to wear makeup? Or, is it women pressuring other women to wear makeup?

Even if you have experienced this pressure, why do you give a shit what someone thinks about your face anyway? 

There are some women out there that have completely hijacked Feminism to become a whiny group of women who want to protest against micro aggressions and things that, in the grand scheme of things, do not matter. These women would criticize me because I choose to wear makeup even though doing whatever-the-fuck I want to with my face is the very basis of the true Feminist movement. These women would rather participate in #NoMakeup than worry about what the fuck has happened to abortion access and where the fuck paid maternity leave is. 

In that respect, I ascribe to the true Feminist tenant of "I'll do whatever I want, piss off!" That message has become perverted with the new wave of Feminism and annoying social media campaigns. In order to be a proper woman, according to new Feminism I have to 1) wear no makeup 2) breastfeed in public despite my feelings on the matter because if I don't, I'm a slave to the patriarchy and betraying the cause. These people do not care about equality but they only want to tell others, including other women, what to do. 

Wear makeup! Or don't! Why does anyone give a shit?! Why does everything need to be some social media movement where we all post #nomakeup selfies for mass approval on Instagram to have someone pat us on the back for supposedly feeling good about ourselves (the very existence of selfies proves we are craving approval from others). 

You can pry my Benefit They're Real! mascara out of my cold, dead hands. 

I.C.U.P. in Target

The Target bathroom scandal, have you heard of it? Of course you have! Don't you love times like these where it can properly show you the asshole divide on your Facebook friends list? Opportunities to clean out your friends list are presenting themselves quite frequently these days (gay marriage, pot legalization, the 2016 election), so hover your mouse over 'unfriend' and feel the sweet release. 

According to USA Today, more than 700,000 people have decided to boycott Target now and to that I say fuck them because I'd rather go into Target with less cluttered aisles, especially now that they will be minus all the douchebags. More better-than-Walmart cheap shit for me, thanks! The reasons for the boycott stem from the pearl-clutching fear mongers who think that this bathroom anarchy is finally the moment predators around the nation have been waiting for, the free-for-all in the porcelain palace!

Prior to this, these signs were the ultimate barriers that protected children from these pedophile monsters:

Source

These two signs created a forcefield preventing predators from entering- well, uh unless they were male predators preying on male children/men but that never happens or so I've heard.*

"A danger to wives and daughters!" the petition calls it. What a bullshit response. 

For one, wives, daughters, and any other women can be assaulted and molested regardless of time and place like...

The subway...**

School...

Home...

Two, if someone is hellbent on assaulting someone in a bathroom that little sign with a lady in a skirt isn't going to do shit to stop them.

Three, male children are sharing bathrooms with men everyday who could be potential predators but there is never a mention of that scenario because apparently only women can be victims (this stereotype is damaging to both sexes as it paints women as only victims and discredits men from ever being victims even when there is ample evidence to the contrary). 

The percentage of America that is transgender is 0.3 percent and yet we are in such an uproar over this issue. It's a public bathroom- the best scenario is that you spend less than two minutes in there and then you are gone. I try to think about the person in the stall next to me as least as possible.

It must be exhausting to be one of these petition people who are constantly living in fear- fear of having their guns taken, fear of gay people, fear of transgender people going to the bathroom, fear of black people, fear of Mexicans, fear of atheists, fear of abortion, and fear of anything different than them. As for me, I mind my own business shit and keep my thoughts on myself not only while in a public bathroom but in my daily life. I think that's a good call.

*That never happens, really it doesn't.

** I literally just Googled "man exposes himself on subway" and got 32,000 results.