It has been nearly five years since I have chosen to darken the door of an Applebee's. After living in a small town in which fine dining was limited to Applebee's or the fancier alternative, Olive Garden, I was sick of the restaurant.
The final straw came four years ago when my husband and I decided to try Applebee's once since we'd moved and got a sampler appetizer that seemed like a safe choice. How could one possibly fuck up boneless wings, mozzarella sticks, and a quesadilla? Well, someone surely discovered a way because it came to our cold and soaked in grease that had time to collect while the appetizer sat waiting to be delivered to our table.
"Never again, Applebee's" became our mantra for the next few years.
Fast forward to now and I've been aptly fooled by various Applebee's commercials promising delicious meals at great prices. I was duped by the commercial steak that sizzled seductively on a grill as seasonings fell onto it like tasty confetti. Like an old boyfriend I thought, maybe he's changed? Maybe it won't be grotesque, cold slop delivered to me on a greasy plate? What if they've rebranded and their food is actually edible now?... I won't know unless I give it another chance.
We arrived at Applebee's almost reluctantly and we fought the urge to yell at some customers returning to their car, "HEY! Was your food good?!" We all had hope that maybe Applebee's had finally grown up. After all, they're still in business they have to be doing something right?
The new interior design gave us some hope as we arrived at our table to glance over the new menu. After deciding on an appetizer that didn't include the stomach-churning idea of cheeseburger egg rolls (*HORK*), the wonton chicken tacos arrived at our table on a weathered metal serving tray. Okay, okay it's not old... they're going for a rustic look.
The tacos were passable, a little too sweet for my taste but edible even though they were very crumbly due to being made from wonton wrapping.
Russ ordered a brunch burger that looked promising and I stuck with a chicken fiesta salad. You can't fuck up salad, right?
My salad arrived with hardly any chicken and covered in so much dressing that the salad was more like a slaw. Terrible. I kept comparing the price to Red Robin which is a far superior salad for the same $10.99. Russ complained that his burger was so salty, his tongue was nearly hurting. Despite being such a burger lover, he didn't even finish it.
With tip this meal came to $44 and it will be the last dollar amount I ever spend at one of the worst chain restaurants in the country. I would probably lick the floor of a Chili's before I would touch another Applebee's entree.
Recently in the news the No Makeup Campaign has gained footing with Alicia Keys stepping forward to proclaim loudly to the world that she's going to stop wearing makeup.
#sobrave
I started wearing makeup shortly after my thirteenth birthday after years of watching my mom put on her makeup daily. Whether she was staying home all day or going out she'd always put on her "fake face," as she called it. I'm not sure if she felt pressure to appear put together or if it made her feel more put together but I cannot recall many days where she didn't have at least a little makeup on.
"Everyone needs a little makeup," she says. However, she never made me feel like I needed it.
I guess that's the attitude I always grew up with- it just seemed like fun to wear makeup and experiment with it and I liked the way my face or eyelashes popped while wearing makeup. Wearing makeup always made me feel more put together and ready to face the day. I never felt pressure from the patriarchy or anyone else to wear makeup. Perhaps that's why it's difficult for me to get onboard with the #NoMakeup Campaign. I don't understand why it's such an important movement because from where I stand, no one really cares if someone wears makeup or not. I've never witnessed another person criticizing someone in real life for having a bare face.
Is it men pressuring women to wear makeup? Or, is it women pressuring other women to wear makeup?
Even if you have experienced this pressure, why do you give a shit what someone thinks about your face anyway?
There are some women out there that have completely hijacked Feminism to become a whiny group of women who want to protest against micro aggressions and things that, in the grand scheme of things, do not matter. These women would criticize me because I choose to wear makeup even though doing whatever-the-fuck I want to with my face is the very basis of the true Feminist movement. These women would rather participate in #NoMakeup than worry about what the fuck has happened to abortion access and where the fuck paid maternity leave is.
In that respect, I ascribe to the true Feminist tenant of "I'll do whatever I want, piss off!" That message has become perverted with the new wave of Feminism and annoying social media campaigns. In order to be a proper woman, according to new Feminism I have to 1) wear no makeup 2) breastfeed in public despite my feelings on the matter because if I don't, I'm a slave to the patriarchy and betraying the cause. These people do not care about equality but they only want to tell others, including other women, what to do.
Wear makeup! Or don't! Why does anyone give a shit?! Why does everything need to be some social media movement where we all post #nomakeup selfies for mass approval on Instagram to have someone pat us on the back for supposedly feeling good about ourselves (the very existence of selfies proves we are craving approval from others).
You can pry my Benefit They're Real! mascara out of my cold, dead hands.
