This is one of my favorite quotes and I'm not a "quotes" person. I don't subscribe to the power of positive thinking or that I need to feel inspired or cheered on 24/7. I never share any quotes on my Facebook or "Like" pages that are aimed at those needing hope or to be inspired. That being said, I really like this quote and it makes me feel grounded when I start to doubt myself.
We are living at a time where social media is a constant window into someone else's life- and a very small glimpse of their lives we get to see. If we know everyone is watching, we only put on our best selves to be seen. Because of that, it is so simple to compare ourselves with that small sliver of other's lives. I have fallen victim to this cycle many times and I always have to remind myself that we're not seeing the whole picture but the most cleaned up, prettiest version of our friend's experiences.
I have been on a long road of self-doubt and self-discovery since I got married six years ago. It was 2010 and I graduated with my Bachelor's in Psychology, we got married the next month, and we were set up our brand new lives together in Virginia. In my perfect life dream I would of course start looking for work in my field, I'd end up working for Fleet & Family doing some sort of counseling, we'd have two incomes, everything would be perfect, and we'd be SO AWESOME at being adults!
Illusions were shattered after months of no responses from any jobs and we had one car which made my search even more difficult. I had a terrible resume and I was embarrassed to go anywhere and ask for help with it. I figured I'd get a whatever job for the time being and found myself cashiering at Walmart for the 2010 holiday season. It was miserable. Not only was the clientele at Walmart terrible, but I found myself feeling bitter every day that I clocked into work. "So glad I got my degree," I'd think everyday (which, is still my mantra every day coincidentally).
On my breaks from being bombarded with a non-stop wave of abusive customers, I'd look at my Facebook feed and see snapshots of my friend's elaborate vacations, new houses, new cars, and their updated "grown up" workplaces- office jobs, seemingly important jobs. It was debilitating and made me feel pathetic and like a failure. I quit Walmart after four months of misery and remained jobless until we moved to Washington sixteen months later. I became a cake decorator and started my own business. I finally felt a sense of industry and pride in what I was doing.
After moving back to Virginia, I'm nearly in the same boat that I was six years ago in this sad full circle. The only difference is I don't really look to my friends anymore as a gauge of how successful I am as an adult. I only compare myself to my own standards of where and what my life should be. Of course I fall short of that expectation usually but the difference is that I'm in charge of it. I've taken a hard look at my friend's lives and they are all in different places too- some are single in a big city, some are in a small city and are stay at home moms, some are depressed at their impressive grown up jobs, some love their simple jobs, some rent homes, and some own homes.
Whenever I find myself distracted by my friends or fellow blogger's seemingly perfect, sparkling lives I think of this quote. Things aren't always what they seem and I am not them, they are not me. Our lives and aspirations are different so it does nothing to help me to compare myself to someone else. As lame as it sounds, we are all on our own path and it's not a race.
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